Are You Actually Being Ignored or Just a Narcissist?

Narcissists not only experience more social exclusion but also perceive it more often—even in ambiguous situations.

Research spanning multiple studies and thousands of participants found that those high in grandiose narcissism are more sensitive to exclusion cues, which can create a cycle where their behavior leads to actual social rejection. Interestingly, feeling ostracized can also fuel narcissistic traits over time.

Narcissists and Social Exclusion

Narcissists are more likely to feel excluded than those with lower levels of self-absorption, according to research from the American Psychological Association. This isn’t just because others may avoid them due to their personalities — it also stems from their tendency to misinterpret ambiguous social signals as rejection.

“Feeling ostracized is a subjective experience based on the perception of social cues by the individual. Some may be intentionally ostracized, while others may merely believe they are being excluded when that’s not the case,” said lead author Christiane Büttner, PhD, of the University of Basel. “Our findings suggest that individuals with higher levels of narcissism are more sensitive to exclusion cues, leading them to perceive ostracism more frequently.”

The research was published today (February 20) in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Focusing on Grandiose Narcissism

While narcissism can take various forms, the researchers chose to focus exclusively on grandiose narcissism, which includes traits such as entitlement, dominance, a strong desire for admiration, and a tendency to seek status and recognition.

The research team first analyzed data from the German Socio-Economic Panel, a long-term, nationally representative survey of approximately 22,000 households in Germany. Focusing on 1,592 individuals who answered questions about narcissism and ostracism in 2015, the study found that people with higher narcissism levels reported experiencing significantly more ostracism.

Daily Tracking Confirms the Findings

To confirm these findings, the researchers conducted a two-week study with 323 participants. These individuals completed narcissism assessments and reported past feelings of ostracism. For the next 14 days, they logged moments when they felt excluded or neglected using a mobile app.

“Participants with higher narcissism scores reported feeling excluded more frequently in daily life, aligning with our earlier survey results,” Büttner noted.

Experiments Shed Light on Perceived Exclusion

A series of experiments involving over 2,500 participants further explored the link between narcissism and feeling excluded. In one experiment, participants joined a virtual ball-tossing game where two other players either included or excluded them. Another experiment presented hypothetical social scenarios and asked participants to assess how excluded they felt.

The results showed that narcissistic individuals were more likely to perceive ambiguous social interactions, where ostracism is not explicitly made clear, as exclusionary. Further reinforcing this perception of social exclusion, additional experiments revealed that people often prefer to avoid highly narcissistic individuals.

The Two-Way Link Between Narcissism and Ostracism

Interestingly, the researchers also found evidence that the relationship between narcissism and social exclusion works both ways.

“Narcissism may contribute to social exclusion, but ostracism itself can also fuel the development of narcissistic traits,” Büttner explained.

Analyzing 14 years of data from a national survey in New Zealand involving over 72,000 participants, researchers observed that changes in feelings of exclusion were followed by changes in narcissism levels a year later—and vice versa.

Implications for Society and Relationships

These findings highlight the complex interplay between personality traits and social experiences, according to Büttner. Understanding this relationship can help better address workplace conflicts, social isolation and even broader societal issues.

“If people with high narcissistic traits are more likely to feel and be excluded, this could contribute to escalating tensions in workplaces or social groups. At the same time, their heightened sensitivity to exclusion might make them more likely to react aggressively,” she said. “These findings suggest that interventions aimed at improving interpersonal relationships and reducing social friction should consider both the perceptions and behaviors of the individuals involved.”

Reference: “Narcissists Experience of Ostracism” by Christiane Büttner, Selma Rudert, Elianne Albath, Chris Sibley and Rainer Greifeneder, 20 February 2025, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
DOI: 10.1037/pspp0000547

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