Couples who regularly savor their positive experiences together feel closer, argue less, and believe more strongly in their future. That shared habit also helps protect their relationship when stress rises.
Couples who intentionally pause to appreciate the enjoyable moments they share tend to feel more satisfied, experience fewer arguments, and have greater confidence that their relationship will endure, according to a new study from researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
“Savoring involves slowing down to become aware of and focus on positive experiences,” said first author Noah Larsen, a graduate student at Illinois. “Savoring can occur when we reminisce on a past experience, focus on the present moment or look ahead to a future experience.”
While earlier research has shown that savoring benefits individuals, Larsen and his co-authors — Illinois human development and family studies professors Allen W. Barton and Brian G. Ogolsky — wanted to examine how savoring works as a shared activity between romantic partners. The participants were part of a broader project focused on resilience in romantic relationships.
How Researchers Measured Joint Savoring
The study surveyed 589 adults from across the United States. Participants completed an online questionnaire that asked how often they and their partner intentionally focused on positive experiences in their relationship. Researchers used a measure called Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships, adapted from the widely used Savoring Beliefs Inventory, which evaluates savoring at the individual level.
In addition to savoring, the survey assessed relationship satisfaction, communication conflict, and how confident participants felt that their relationship would last. Researchers also measured perceived stress. Participants reported how often in the previous month they felt capable of managing their responsibilities or, on the other hand, overwhelmed by everything they needed to do. They also rated their overall quality of life, general health, and psychological distress.
Who Took Part in the Study
Among the 589 participants, more than 85% were married, about 10% were engaged, and 4% were in a committed dating relationship. Their partners did not take part in the survey. The average participant was about 39 years old. Slightly more than half were women, more than 85% were white, and the average household income ranged from $85,000 to $95,000.
Overall, respondents reported relatively high levels of both individual savoring and joint savoring, along with generally low stress levels.
Savoring as a Buffer Against Stress
“We found that joint savoring has the most benefits for romantic relationships, as well as secondary benefits for individuals’ health and well-being,” Larsen said. “Specifically, individuals who engaged in more joint savoring with their partners reported less conflict with them, more satisfaction with their relationship and more confidence in their future together.”
The protective effect was especially clear among couples dealing with higher stress. “When couples face greater stress, savoring can serve as a buffer, helping protect their confidence in their relationship and their mental health,” Larsen said.
“Being able to identify factors that provide this type of buffering effect is important for marriage and romantic relationships, as they provide tangible things that couples can do to keep their relationship strong, even in the midst of heightened levels of stress,” Barton said.
The researchers concluded that deliberately focusing on shared positive experiences can serve as a practical strategy for maintaining or strengthening a romantic relationship.
A Simple Weekly Habit for Happier Couples
“We all are busy and have so many things going on in our day-to-day lives,” Larsen said. “Finding time — even just once a week — to slow down, be present with your partner, and talk about positive experiences in your relationship or focus on something you both enjoy can really benefit you as a couple. That might be reminiscing about a memory from earlier in your relationship, enjoying a dinner together, or talking about an upcoming event that you both are excited about. And if you are going through a stressful time, making time for these conversations can be especially important.”
Reference: “Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships: Correlates and Protective Effects” by Noah B. Larsen, Allen W. Barton and Brian G. Ogolsky, 11 December 2025, Contemporary Family Therapy.
DOI: 10.1007/s10591-025-09769-5
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