
These “never words” can be harmful when spoken by clinicians to patients and families facing serious illness.
Seriously ill patients and their families experience intense emotional suffering, and researchers, including a professor from Texas A&M University, emphasize that clinicians must use “compassionate communication” as part of the treatment process. They have identified certain “never words” that should be avoided under any circumstances, provide techniques for clinicians to recognize their own never words, and suggest more supportive language to use instead.
In a recent paper published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings, Texas A&M University Distinguished Professor of Marketing at Mays Business School Dr. Leonard Berry and co-authors from Henry Ford Health in Detroit assert that in spite of rapid progress in the treatment of serious illnesses such as cancer, advanced heart failure and end-stage pulmonary disease, certain “timeless” aspects of the patient experience remain, like fear.
“Communicating the nature, purpose, and intended duration of often complex treatments, and setting realistic expectations about what they offer still comes up against timeless patient experiences: fear, intense emotions, lack of medical expertise, and the sometimes unrealistic hope for a cure,” they write. The “intense, daunting nature of these conversations” may cause clinicians to resort to learned communication habits or declarative statements.
Even a single word may scare patients and families, make them feel disempowered, and possibly negate the effectiveness of shared decision-making.

“Because seriously ill patients and their families are understandably frightened, they ‘hang’ on every word their doctor will say,” notes Berry, a senior fellow at the Institute for Healthcare Improvement. “Serious illness is not only a matter of physical suffering, but also emotional suffering. The doctor’s behavior, including their verbal and nonverbal communication, can exacerbate or reduce emotional suffering.”
Berry said all too often, doctors use insensitive language in communicating critical information, and commonly do so without realizing the needless alarm or offense they have inflicted.
Never Words
Patients and families need to feel “psychologically safe” in communicating with health care professionals, Berry said, including in expressing concern about the proposed treatment plan or in conveying their fears. The researchers say if doctors respond using “never words,” they may undermine patients’ and families’ confidence to speak freely.
“Never-words are conversation stoppers,” the researchers write. “They seize power from the very patients whose own voices are essential to making optimal decisions about their medical care.”
Utilizing clinician surveys, the researchers identified never words, including:
- “There is nothing else we can do.”
- “She will not get better.”
- “Withdrawing care.”
- “Circling the drain.”
- “Do you want us to do everything?”
- “Fight” or “battle.”
- “I don’t know why you waited so long to come in.”
- “What were your other doctors doing/thinking?”
In another study specific to cancer care, clinicians were asked for words or phrases they would never use with a patient, with the top results including:
- “Let’s not worry about that now.”
- “You are lucky it’s only stage 2.”
- “You failed chemo.”
‘“Let’s not worry about that now’ is not only a non-answer to a patient’s legitimate concern, it’s dismissive,” the researchers said. Pointing out that cancer is in an early stage is “presumptive, assuming the patient should feel gratitude, without allowing room for the patient’s anxiety and fear in having cancer.” And, Berry said, patients do not fail chemo; chemo fails patients.
What Doctors Should Say Instead
Healthcare professionals can start a dialogue by inviting honest, thoughtful inquiries and responses from patients and families. “They should learn to recognize words and phrases that unintentionally frighten, offend, or diminish agency and work to reimagine their own communication,” the researchers stated.
Berry says such an opportunity can arise when doctors encourage patients to speak up. “Something as simple as, ‘What questions do you have for me?’ rather than, ‘Do you have any questions?’ invites candid conversation,” he said.
As for the never words, the researchers recommend alternative language, as well as the rationale, for each. For example, instead of, “She will not get better,” the doctor could say, “I’m worried she won’t get better.” The rationale being the provider will replace a firm negative prediction with an expression of concern.
Using words like “fight” and “battle” may imply that sheer will can overcome illness and patients may feel as if they’re letting loved ones down by not fighting hard enough. Instead, doctors could say, “We will face this difficult disease together” to make it clear patients have a team behind them.
Spreading Awareness
Medical groups and educators can bring attention to never words in multiple ways, the researchers said, including by integrating the discussion into courses and professional development.
“The emphasis in medical school is understandably on the science of medicine, but it is so important to incorporate communications training into the curriculum,” Berry said. “A key opportunity is medical school students and graduates having superb patient-centered, skilled communicators as role models in their clinical training during medical school and residency.”
Mentorships are also invaluable as more experienced doctors can share communication techniques that they’ve found to be successful and which to avoid. The study notes, “Mentors can not only disclose harmful phrases that they personally have abandoned and replaced by more generative phrases but may also model walking back language that lands poorly…Such mentorship facilitates progress in how future generations of clinicians interact with patients and stimulates open dialogue about the added suffering and disempowerment that poor, unmindful communication can cause.”
Reference: “Never-Words: What Not to Say to Patients With Serious Illness” by Rana Lee Adawi Awdish, Gillian Grafton and Leonard L. Berry, 21 August 2024, Mayo Clinic Proceedings.
DOI: 10.1016/j.mayocp.2024.05.011
Collaborators on the study are Dr. Rana Lee Adawi Awdish, critical care physician and medical director of care experience, Henry Ford Health; and Dr. Gillian Grafton, advanced heart failure and transplant cardiologist, Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, Henry Ford Health.
Never miss a breakthrough: Join the SciTechDaily newsletter.
Follow us on Google and Google News.
6 Comments
I. Have. Had. Enough. Of. SNOWFLAKES!
I thought so too, expecting “never words” like ‘Fat’, or ethnic and gender descriptors, or even just scary words like ‘Cancer’, but then I read the article. Check out their list of phrases, ones I’d improvise thoughtlessly so I could leave. Apart from “Fight”, which I’ve seen inspire people, they’re all ambiguous, or criticisms of patient which can’t be addressed, or predictions of negative outcomes that can self-fulfill. Imagine going through chemotherapy, and then being told “you failed chemo”; what’s that supposed to mean, and what did you do wrong, and just go off and die now? Is anyone told “you will not get better” going to do anything anymore?
Doctors today treat disease. There’s an easily-ignored psychosocial aspect to being a doctor, where diagnosis and advice should be translated and tailored to the type of person in a way that encourages compliance and provides a path to healing. Otherwise, why not just throw a medical encyclopedia at the patient and hope for the best? Witch doctors used to treat the patient instead of the disease, and with all the alternative holistic naturopathic strategies available, I would argue they still do, with unexpected and annoying success.
“Do you want the bad news or the bad news?”
This is for a halftime speech at the biggest of games. It’s not healthy to look to be offended by everything.
I agree, but this article wasn’t about anyone offended. It was about the importance of clear and true and purposeful communication from doctors. Verbally slap the professionally-offended whenever you can, but the intent here was improving treatment, helping patients understand cold hard reality and make good choices. There is some corporate-speak jargon in the opinion column the article is based on, but it’s just a bad writing style, not the euphemism-obsessed grievance-studies offense-taking fantasy nonsense we both expected after the headline.
Doctors have an ability that is somewhat abused in their business of healing . They possess the trust of their patients that all their efforts are focussed on your individual health , this is close but what is the truth , the Doctor is running a business and have more on their mind than just you , I can personally attest to this my focus is on me not the Doctors needs . I was perfectly sound in my health and once my age reached to being elderly I thought it might be good to have a professional check my numbers so I had a doctor check what they looked like , keeping a close eye on how I felt , witch was fine . What I did notice when the time came for the appointment was how they were ready for me . I was running late so my mental state was elevated from the stress of my work day and how soon they saw me , they took me in and proceeded with the exame the same minute I entered the room , they took my Blood Pressure witch was very elevated so we sat and waited maybe 4 or 5 minutes then they took it again witch wasn’t as high but still elevated , no real good time to have me relax and calm from my stressful day , the doctor took those reading and made the diagnoses , they said I have Blood Pressure that needed to be managed with meds . then after the appointment I had a blood test done , the results came back and did show a high level of cholesterol , witch he wanted to also treat with Meds . This I took as a trust that all things being considered I needed to follow the doctors direction to take the meds , Long story short I should of recognized that not every circumstance was being considered at the time of my first exam . started taking the meds mostly because I recognized the need from the Blood test , a year had past and the doctor changed my dosages a couple of times and My feeling any better was not in the results in fact things were propping up that were not even part of the first exam . So I started to think about the past years timeline of events and came to a conclusion something is a miss , so I used the information and my own reasoning to make a decision that the meds were exasperating a bad out come to my health , The only reasonable test that showed a problem in real time was the blood test of the cholesterol and all blood test from the beginning were good in that result . but others were showing a difference that was getting worse . I put the brakes on a little in regards to the Meds and my feeling better started to improve . All I can say is the the initial appointment showed a result that was not fully understood , the Doctors could use a little better tactic when a person is first arriving for the appointment , a soothing environment of blissful calm to alleviate any stress or exhaustion from the time prior to their appointment , maybe some music to relax and some time of rest to show a best result of the exam . Stop the haisty push of a business to a human level of real caring Physician of a individual . I still take the meds for cholesterol but the Blood pressure thing I keep a personal tester to monitor it and stopped the meds I feel good and the pressure is good depending on my activity and other drinks and foods that will elevate the pressure . A false positive can always be a pressure that mentally weighs a lot on a person’s health .